Humor: Jazz musicians Look to Federal Budget For Bailout Support

Here’s an excerpt from a recent post by jackzucker at The Gear Page ( that tells it like it really is.  To read the entire hilarious post, click here:

Washington, D.C.  In light of the recent downturn in the American economy, the nation’s jazz musicians have joined the long line of lobby groups looking to Washington for support as the economy slides into a deepening recession.

The jazz industry is asking Washington for a bailout package and major subsidies on par with that of the auto sector.

As such, jazz musicians also want access to credit and tax breaks to stimulate investment and help the development of new recording and performance opportunities.

“This recession has really got me dragged, ya dig?” says Luther “Hip Bones” Jones III, a New York City saxophonist and a cornerstone of the little known Wall Street Avant-Garde jazz scene. “I mean, now that gigs aren’t flowin’ like they used to, I actually have to get up before noon and find a way to make some coin!”

Similarly, Jones’ associate Willie “Fat Cheeks” Hughes comments that with the economy in near chaos, the demand for his jazz bagpipe skills has waned considerably.  Hughes also noted that with a sluggish economic situation, he will soon have to find another girlfriend or else face certain “homelessness.”

While this crisis has been brewing for some time, a recent spike in the number of trombonists delivering pizzas in New York’s Greenwich Village has brought this dire situation to the public’s attention…


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